It's just like any other day. I get out. We walk. I am anxious. I just wish I won't encounter anyone today. Earlier, a guy shot himself. That guy was just crazy. I wonder what dumb excuse he made for himself.
We reach the rally point. Nothing's happening yet. Good. I grant myself a moment of relief and exhale. Many people are as tense as I am. I want to say that it will be okay. But it won't. So I don't say anything.
Commander gets orders. What are they ? I don't want to hear about it. Don't tell us. Oh no. We have to move again. I don't want to. But do I have a choice ? I'll just do it then.
We're walking. I hear we'll have to fight soon. I don't want to. But there is some time before then. I can just relax then. Great. But we'll have to be ready anytime. So I stop relaxing. Did I even start relaxing in the first place ?
We're told to stop. We stop. I don't like where this is going. He's going to tell us to take position. He's going to tell us to take position. Any time now. He tells us to take position. I knew it. We take position. This is the worst moment of my life. Just like it was all the other times. But maybe this one is really the worst ?
He just told us to go. We go. Oh no. I know where we are going to. And I don't want to go there. I hear the first shot. Then 3 more. Then I can't count anymore. Mine still hasn't fired. I want to fire it. Just to see what it does. I fire. It didn't hit but I still regret it. It seemed fun at first. Guy near me yells. Probably got shot. I want to check how he is. But I don't want to die. I don't want him to die either. I go near him. A bullet flies past me. I take cover. Guy is still down. I wait for it to calm down a bit. A dead man can't save lives, right ? Any minute now, I'm going to help him. I hear someone yelling. What is it about ? Oh, I should get moving. Right. So, I move. I do as I was trained to. There's something in my line of sight. Or is it someone ? I can't tell if it's an ally or not. I think the correct choice is no. I get ready. I shoot. One down. I killed it. It's dead. How do I know ? Because even if it isn't right now, it will be, soon. I'm having a good run. Still not dead. I proceed. I help shoot one more of those. I move on. I take one out, again. It's good. It's good… It's good ? Oh no. I got hit. In the shoulder. I try to stand still. I can't. I fall. But that's not what I should do. I get up. Another bullet. Then 3 more. Sounds familiar. I fall on my back. Everything feels cold. My work is done. Good work, me.
…
It's just like any other day. I get out. We walk. I am anxious. I just wish I won't encounter anyone today. I remember what I heard yesterday. Many people died last week. Similar situation and all. That's just crazy. Just like that guy. The one who shot himself not so long ago. I guess what's going to happen is kinda awful. But I'm prepared.
We reach the rally point. Nothing's happening yet. Good, I think. I would love to grant myself a moment of relief and exhale. Everyone is as tense as I am. I want to say that last time went okay. But it didn't. So I don't say anything.
Commander gets orders. Actually, I know what they are. But I don't want to hear about it. We have to move again. I don't want to. But do I have a choice ? I'll just do it then.
We're walking. I know we'll have to fight soon. I don't want to. But there is some time before then. About 3 minutes, in fact. I can just relax then. Great. But we'll have to be ready. So I stop relaxing. Did I even start relaxing in the first place ?
We're told to stop. We stop. I don't like where this is going. He's going to tell us to take position. He tells us to take position. We take position. This is the worst moment of my life. Just like it was all the other times. But I know the next one is actually going to be worst.
He just told us to go. We go. They will come from there. Because it's the same as what last week's guys went through. I go where I can. I expect to get shot soon. But I don't. At least not me. The guy near me gets shot. He's dead. How do I know ? Because even if he isn't right now, he will be, soon. I move on with the others. I shoot. One down. Another one comes and shoots in my direction. I take way too many bullets. Oh god. It hurts. No one told me that it hurts like that. I try to live. But I die. My work is done. Good work, me.
…
It's just like any other day. I know what happened last week and two weeks ago. Also, a guy shot himself. It's like tradition now. We walk. Let's just get to the point.
Rally point. Nothing's happening yet. Someone exhales and tries to relax. What the hell. We're not here for that. Our job is to die. And I'm going to do it. Everybody knows last time didn't go okay. No need to lie about it.
Commander gets orders. We have to move again. Didn't have to wait for him to say it.
We're walking. Fight soon. Not sure if I want to. But that's my job. 3 minutes. No relax.
We stop. We take position. That's probably the lowest point of my life. But worst moment ? That's for later.
He just told us to go. We go. They're coming. Just like the other times. I move on. Comrade gets shot. He should have seen it coming. I shoot. It's dead. How do I know ? Because that's how it works. Any minute now. I move on. Get shot. Here we go. I fall down. My work is done. Good work, me.
…
This afternoon will be like any other day. We will get out. We will walk. And the rest is the usual. Our job. Those guys who went out the last 3 weeks. How did they keep their sanity ? They must have a trick.
I look at my firearm near me. I get an idea. At this moment, I'm basically a genius. I load it. I hold it against my chin. How did nobody think about this ? I guess today, I'm going to finish work early. Good work, me.
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